Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
her facebook's as public as her vagina
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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