I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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