The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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