Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
