They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
