About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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