I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
