No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
