have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
