i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
