this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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