Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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