WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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