Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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