so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Randomize
