I accidentally had phone sex last night
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
