Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
