Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
What drink are we having for lunch?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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