So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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