I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
