piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
