You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
