Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
