no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
