I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
