Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
