Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
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