so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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