I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
