the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Randomize
