Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
