apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize