shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
