nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
