we have pet lesbian snakes
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
