Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
