This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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