the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
