this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
The beers last night were like the tears from god
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
