omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
We need to get me chipped asap
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
