Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
