What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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