dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
