totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
