Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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