there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
soo... how was my night?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
