actually, I'm a sock model
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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