I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
