And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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