I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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