Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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