I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
