we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize