It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
