The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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