I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize