Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
