That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
