come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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