is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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