What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
