You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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