people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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